Harknell and I got to go to Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride in Glenn Mills, PA. This is near Philadelphia.

If you live nearby, or even a couple of hours away it is really worth the drive. These guys don’t have the budget of Universal Studios or Busch Gardens, but they clearly know how to utilize their resources for a great event.

What makes Bates unique? This is the only place I have ever been at where the scare actors actually will touch you. I was chainsawed and grabbed by monsters. They will not prevent you from moving about freely, but they will try to make you feel like you are being attacked.

Let’s talk about the attractions!

The Haunted Hayride

The Haunted Hayride is really well done. There are lots of scare actors in each scene. Sometimes they will jump on the truck and grab you. They pulled one girl about 3 feet down the truck by her leg. It was hilarious.

They have great pyrotechnics and scenes. You might find that a gas station explodes near you or a bridge seems to collapse on you.

One funny bit happened when a guy grabbed onto me and tried to scare me. He asked me if I was scared in a monster voice. I said that Harknell was scared and pointed at him. The monster guy said in a cross between a monster voice and a disappointed child voice, “Aw man he’s not scared!” and decided to menace me some more while Harknell laughed.

I noticed that they have upgraded the hayride since I was last here with new scenes and better effects!

The Haunted Corn Maze

The Haunted Corn Maze was SICK. I think this might have been the most well-done maze I have been through the entire season! Harknell went in first and they OBLITERATED HIM. Monsters coming from every which way..then when you don’t expect it some guy comes from the ceiling! They even had some lady suspended from the roof!

I think they added at least 2 scenes to the corn maze this year. Very impressive!

The Haunted House

The haunted house was NUTS. Sadly we got stuck behind a really stupid family that was there to harass the actors and not have fun. Still, we got scared a lot. The house was good enough to compensate for a family of douchebags.

They also expanded the house with a greenhouse scene. I don’t want to spoil it for you but it was BADASS.

Negatives?

So what are the negatives? Not many. The only negative thing that I can say about it is that they do not accept credit cards. I found this to be an inconvenience. With the amount of people they are getting at this event, there is no reason they couldn’t take credit cards.

The only other thing that ended up to be not good was the fault of the weather and not the event, but I should mention it just as a warning. If it has rained before you come here you will get absolutely coated with mud. Your shoes will be destroyed unless you are wearing all-weather boots. It will also be very difficult to walk through the parking lot. (They put straw down in the main area so that it’s a lot easier to walk there.)

I wore boots and after I got home It took me 3 hours to clean the matted hay and mud off of our shoes. It was like cement with hay. The shoes still aren’t dry. Obviously, they can’t pave the parking lot because they probably use this as a real farm in the off-season. So, go on a dry night or wear some heavy-duty boots! It is a REAL farm.

Luckily the event is really fun so I wasn’t bothered by the mud, but you should know this before you go. Don’t wear fancy clothes!

Conclusion

Bates was awesome when I went there 2 years ago and they clearly have put more money into it so that its even better. I found this to be a lot of fun, but if you are very uncomfortable with people touching you, then this might not be the event for you. Personally, I loved it and highly recommend this event.

Bates Motel is the best farm event I have ever been to in my entire life. Go. Now. 4.5 Onezumi heads: